I'm on maternity leave at the moment with only 6 weeks left to go before I return to work. I have a degree and am a qualified environmental Health Officer earning just over 30k a year. thing is I have now realised I would happily stay home looking after children, not just mine but children in general. I have found childcare is a skill i have and love. How could I get the qualification? I know I wont earn anywhere near the amount I have done before but the satisfaction is worth it.
i am 19 years old. my baby is due april 12, 2011. i'll be 20 in march. the father (kenny) and i started dating july 3, 2010. and i found out i was pregnant july 31. i have my own apartment and i just started my new job. anyway, he moved in with me july 5th and i've kicked him out 4 times in a matter of only 5 weeks. well the last time i kicked him out was a week and a half ago. and he's back living with his friends 50 miles away from me. he wants to be in the childs life. but i dont want him in my life or my baby's life.
i come from a high class family and where it's all about status, going to the perfect schools, making the perfect grades, marrying the perfect guy, getting the perfect jobs, and having the perfect life style.
kenny comes from a black hole. trailor parks, NO jobs, drugs, alcohol, gangs, etc. ( im not saying anything is wrong with trailor parks. ive seen some nice ones and i've seen some pretty shitty ones. kenny comes from the shitty ones.
i do not want my child to know kenny. he isn't very bright at all. my baby will be able to spell, read, and pronounce words when he/she is in kindergarden that kenny doesn't even know the meaning to. on top of his lack of intelligence, he's an asshole. he accuses me of cheating on him when i'm in the emergency room for cramping and bleeding (while pregnant) and he didn't even want to go and be there with me. he smokes pot, drinks, and takes other peoples stolen pills. we come from 2 completely different worlds. and i dont want my child to know about that world, not yet.
and in keeping this decision- i would be a single mother on my own working full time and having to take my baby to a baby sitter when my maternity leave is up. my family works all the time so no one else can watch him/her. i dont want to leave my baby with a baby sitter. and sometimes i think it won't be so bad to have kenny in the babys life so that i can be a stay at home mom. but most of the time- i feel so strongly about keeping him out of this i want to block him on facebook, change my number, and move to a different location so he can never find me. i always knew that if/ when i got pregnant, i wanted to be a stay at home mom. because i thought i'd be married and my husband would go out and work while i'm being suzie home maker.
and no- this was not planned because i was diagnosed with PCOS in february 2010 and was told i could never have children because of it. well here i am 8 weeks pregnant. and scared out of my ever loving mind about what i'm going to do and how i'm going to do it.
kenny also said he refuses to move back in with me because my family doesn't like him and he doesn't feel comfortable here. just extra info. anyway, i'd greatly appreciate some advice! please and thank you!
i am not prejudice what so ever. i knew him from the past. but i didn't really know him. so we started dating and went to crazzy parties. yes i had sex with him. and yes i understand NOW what my mom and grandma mean when they say i should pick better boyfriends who have some stability in their life. im not worried about keeping up my image. i've never cared about that. the only thing i'm worried about is being a single parent having to leave my baby with strangers all day. OR kenny becoming a bad influence on my child. and i am still trying to comprehend that i'm going to have a baby. i was supposed to sign my papers and swear in to army a week after i found out i was pregnant. so i didn't think i'd stick around to see kenny too much longer. i was wrong. and what young girl doesn't want 'perfect' everything. the only difference is you have to be rational. and i try my best. i live in my own 2bedroom apt, i work my ass off 50 hours a week at mcdonalds. i take online classes. i'm trying.
and i want to thank all of you for your opinions. and i appreciate the words of strength and support. it will be hard. but i've dealt with some stuff before. maybe all that was just preparing me for this. God has his mysterious ways :) i believe i can handle it. and of course this baby comes first. and i am confused which why i came to ask of your opinions in the first place. i appreciate all the answers. and i look forward to the very best i can for my miracle baby. thank you all!
also, i should add. that when i got pregnant by kenny i was trying to get a divorce with my husband, whom i'm still close with. we were going to agree on everything and represent ourselves in court. we were just waiting to make the money to start serving paper work. it's a pretty messed up situation i got myself into, i know. we were seperated 6 months when i started dating kenny. so my step-mom tells me we cant get divorced until the baby is born. idk if the baby can have my maiden name or if he/she has to have my married name.
I'm going to leave UK permanently when the baby is around 3 months. I will be getting SMP through my employer, but what about Child Benefit? On HMRC page, I read that:
f you're going abroad permanently, or expect to be away for more than 52 weeks, you won't qualify for Child Benefit unless both of the following apply:
* you are moving to an EEA country or Switzerland
* you are paying UK NICs or receiving a UK National Insurance-related benefit
You pay NICs on your SMP - do you think I should qualify for CB till the end of my maternity leave?? (on the other hand, I may be still considered as employed by my company and you get CB as long as you are registered for work in UK).
I'm moving to another EEA country.
I recently applied for t-mobile and I passed the online assessment and they sent me an email saying that I would hear from a manager or recruiter to start the next step. How long will that take? How much the sales associates get paid hourly? I have a friend that works there but she is currently on maternity leave but I know that she was getting paid good.
I run a small bakery with 7 employees (7th is currently a temp. for the mother in question) one of my employees just had a baby and will be back on Monday.Now, this employee in question, has caused a few disturbances, if you will around the shop.She does have somewhat drama (stories of family/friends) and it's entertaining...until they actually come in and pull this crap.I've warned her about this, and they are not coming in anymore.
Another issue I had with her was the whole maternity leave.She demanded that I pay her for maternity leave.Since I have limited employees working for me, I am not required to pay people for maternity/sick leave.However, she did get unpaid maternity leave.She was getting snotty about this with me, telling me that it's unethical to not pay for maternity leave (really..its unethical for me to lose money for you popping out kids left and right? lol) but I proved to her the paperwork and that shut her up.
Another issue, was morning sickness.she was struck with it bad and missed several days.She was also constantly sick here, which i couldn't have because it is a health hazard (she is the chef..a damn good one and the only reason i have put up with her crap!) so instead of firing her (which i didn't want to do because A. she is a good chef B. she had a baby coming and C. i think that's illegal) i cut her hours so she would only have to work some days which gave her time to rest.she then again, gave me hell about this.i told her I could not have her sick, working with the food and missing days all the time so that's why i cut her hours.i did hire on the temp at this point.eventually, the drama was dropped with that.
she is now due monday back to work and i have yet another dilemma.she is pumping her milk and the last i heard, employers needed to provide a area for employees to pump milk...but the shop is so small, i have no clue where she is going to go! we have the front area, the kitchen, a OPEN lounge, bathroom and then my office.of course she can't pump in the front area, lol, not the kitchen due to health regulations, bathroom would be icky and inconvenient for other employees/customers.the leaves the employee lounge (basically a small area with chairs and a table, mini fridge) but the issue with this is that its open.she keeps suggesting my office, but that's not going to happen.im only at the shop a fraction of the time and when i am not there, the office is locked, nobody has the key not even the asst. manager due to theft issues in the past.
she told me that i HAVE to provide my office, but i have perfect reason for keeping it locked.especially with people I dont trust.
I did offer to buy a few screens though.ya know, those room divider things so she can sit behind there and pump but I guess it's not "good enough".I just don't know what to do.She is now calling me a boob hater (ignoring the fact that I have a pair myself, let alone breast fed both of my kids til they were 1 each lol) and quit frankly, she is getting on my last damn nerve! i am non confrontational and pretty patient, but this isn't going to work if she keeps trying to push.
any suggestions? wouldn't the screens be enough privacy/
yeah, I told her how I modified a bedsheet to be used as a breast feeding wrap but she thought it was "too cheap".
i swear if she wasn't the best baker I've ever had, I would have fired her a long time ago lol
office is locked when im not there.no exceptions.im not going to get ripped off again.
thank you all for the suggestions, ill forward her those links.
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